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Big Law 1, vs in-house counsel 0 ?

Are in house counsels the miniballers of law ?

Many in-house attorneys that I have met lead nice little simple lives. They shop at discount outlets for clothes and drive Volvos or low end luxury cars. I wouldn't call that the life of a big dog. The simple truth is most in-house attorneys could not handle the demands of working at a peer firm. The ones that worked at peer firms, burned out easily and escaped to the havens of in-house counseldom. A low six figure salary and some stock options. Very pitiful indeed. You better pray that you don't fall victim to the economic tsunami as I see very limited future employment opportunities for you. As a tip, you better dip yourself in sour mustard so that the big rodents won't eat you first.

Look, lawyers at firms have one duty, bill as much as possible. Depending on the client needs, the perceived "sophistication" of the firm, and what the situation would require, they bill.

In house counsel have one job. Handle internal legal matters on day to day issues and when anything hard comes in, get external counsel. This is generally because of man-power issues, but also conflict of interest issues and just being able to put the onus on someone else so just in case they lose a case or whatever, its not skin off their back.

But internal counsel ALSO spends lot of time effectively being beancounters. Spin it how you want. When a sizeable portion of your job is dealing with bills, your jobs substance is limited.


You clearly do not work in-house. Yes the hours are nice, or at least nicer than BigLaw. It is not that I am less stressed; it is that I don't get paid overtime or a bonus for hours and thus have no motivation to stay here past 5.

But if you think there is no kow-towing to clients, you are mistaken. Everyone else here is a client. I get looked down upon by the "real business people" every hour. My calls go perpetually unreturned. I live at the whim and pull of sales managers and department heads who see me as nothing more than a potential wrench in the gears.

Here, creativity is a four-letter word. The wheel has already been invented, and my job is to stamp it onto everything. Outside Counsel can worry about "new directions" and "aggressive strategies." My job is to push the required papers around as efficiently and unobtrusively as possible. I have a form-everything and a checklist for every task. I yearn for the days of document review.


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